archivemessy

As a companion to their popular – well, I like it anyway – Blind Date series, the Guardian has launched Watch Me Date, a televisual feast that lets you, well, watch two people go on a date. Each hapless romantic, or freeloader on a wine recharge, is kitted out with a pair of Google Glass, er, glasses. And we get to see what happens. It’s bit like gonzo porn except there’s more sweating. I can't embed because WordPress is useless, but why not watch the video while you read my...

What happened on the date Paul | Isabel Good table manners? Impeccable. She said she was clumsy, but I think that was to mitigate my messy side of the table. Good table manners? Impeccable. This was almost a disaster – a double-impeccable. Thankfully, Paul (who is 43!!!) saves the day by letting us know Isabel (who is 41!!!) threw him a few burns. Look, they got on great and either use amazing moisturiser or have the best lighting wherever they go so let’s wish them well and overlook Isabel’s mega-disappointing...

What happened on the date Rich | Gabrielle Good table manners? She handled stringy onion rings like a pro. Good table manners? Neither of us was prim and proper. Imagine. Sounds like two wild boars fighting over slop in an eggcup. Photograph: Graham Turner; Sophia Evans, both for the Guardian...

What happened on the date Tom | Isabel Any awkward moments? The first 10 minutes, after the host told the whole bar I was on a blind date. Good table manners? Impeccable, even with chicken wings. Good table manners? Contended admirably with chicken wings. Even before you get to the end, you can tell these two got on. How? Because they made an agreement on the key table manners question, that’s how. They obviously both demolished chicken wings with all the grace of a pair of starved dogs, but realised...