Contact me on the email address below, but please do not add me to a mailing list without my permission; my inbox is an absolute shambles. My DMs are open on Twitter too.

I never ever accept guest posts on The Guyliner, so please don’t ask, as I won’t reply.

theguyliner [at] gmail [dot] com

Want me to write for you?

Where have you been all my life? Email me immediately at theguyliner [at] gmail [dot] com. I can write about almost anything except football – unless you’re looking for 1200 words on why I hate it so much.

Want me to speak at an event or come on the radio or something?

If you simply can’t live until you’ve counted my wrinkles in person, then perhaps consider holding some kind of event which I can appear at, or speak in. I talk about the usual stuff any of my readers would come to expect. And, no, I don’t have a Yorkshire accent of any description so if you’re a northerner fetishist, you might be better off with Mel B. I enjoy the absolute terror of doing live radio but I only do paid opportunities as all… this [gestures vaguely in direction of clapped-out body] is quite literally my only source of income.

Want to know more about my novels?

My literary agent is Becky Thomas at Lewinsohn Literary. Clara Diaz at Little, Brown is in charge of all publicity for THE FAKE-UP, THE MAGNIFICENT SONS and THE LAST ROMEO, so if you want me to do something re those, then holler in her very efficient direction:

Want me to collaborate with your brand?

I get asked about this a lot – usually from people who have never seen a photograph of me tbh – but it’s not something I really do, unless it’s something I am absolutely sure my readers are interested in. Even then, it wouldn’t be on this site, anyway, but my socials only. I won’t just plug anything so do consider my reach (modest but valuable to me), audience (intelligent and also very valuable to me) and my own moral code (I have nothing to add here) before contacting me about any opportunities.


I don’t have an advice column anymore and unfortunately the level of personal correspondence I was getting was getting unmanageable so I’ve had to give up answering reader dilemmas for now. I’m not saying don’t write to me, just that I might not be able to reply – and if I don’t, it’s not personal.

If you’re LGBT and need emergency advice and can’t wait for a reply, get in touch with Switchboard – they’re awesome.

Got a question about what I do and why I do it?

Want to know more about me?

The blog was anonymous for a variety of reasons – mainly because I’m extra af – but I’ll happily answer any queries. Just email me on theguyliner[at]gmail[dot]com. My real name is Justin – don’t wear it out. Also, for the last time, no, I do not accept guest posts.

If you’d rather your email didn’t appear in anything I write on this blog or any other publication I work for, please specify ‘NOT FOR PUBLICATION’. Otherwise, I may use it in some way (not in a horrible way).

Header image: Paul Lang


  1. Why wear white after labour day…? I think it’s from the ‘old days’ when people would put away their summer clothing (a lot of it being white) and have it dry cleaned for the next year.
    Or, it could be some prissy etiquitte WASP who made it up amongst his/her friends so the plebes could feel inferior to them due to their higher social status.

  2. I thought I would let you know that I have just spent my entire Friday at work reading through your posts.

    Clever, witty and fun, you’ve helped me to avoid a pile of work I probably should have gotten through.

    I’ve also realised that I’m not the only one that has particular tactics for a date (seeing your date at the other end of the bar but choosing to wait until they come over to you, for example).

    Thanks for the interesting read, I look forward to more.

  3. I have no idea how I managed to stumble onto this blog but I’m so glad I did – absolutely brilliant, funny, self-deprecating and admittedly somewhat depressing as I haven’t really been back in the dating scene much myself after a long term relationship and now after reading about your adventures in dating I’m thinking yikes, maybe the single life isn’t that bad after all!
    Anyway, as much as I love reading about your varying dating experiences and would hate to see it end, ultimately I do hope you find what you’re looking for and if you do, promise to write at least a little blurb about it alright?

  4. Hi there, I´ve really enjoyed your writing, It makes me simultaneously hopeful but at the same time fearful, there seems to be so many restrictions these days on who to date and why, many reasons not to consider someone in favour of rejecting them for some frivolous fault, yes health and hygiene are important, as of course is physical attraction, if for nothing other than basic chemistry, but It makes me lament the loss of what used to draw people together, have the old laws of love and attraction been replaced, or merely updated with contemporary standards of classification, rules for rejection, what does the type of shoes or underwear we wear have to do with who we are as people? what matters is what we feel, all these shallow things have nothing to do with finding a soul mate, not really, our styles and interests unite us, but do not tie us together, I guess I believe in the magic two people can share, thats what truly matters, that we don´t lose hope,
    and like I say, your writing keeps me hopeful, and I value your insight, thank you

  5. hey guyliner!

    i am a single gay dude in nyc looking for love. i got tired of grindr and okcupid and decided to write a blog that would help me find my future boyfriend. it started when a friend asked me to draw a picture of my “ideal guy” and right now it’s something like an FBI wanted ad and an oprah love experiment.

    i’d love for you to check it out and share it on your blog if you think it’s a good fit. write me if you have any questions — the only way for this to work is if i share it with as many people as possible!

    thank you,

    danny coeyman

  6. Jeezzz…. You are the Christian Grey for the other side……. whoever is lucky enough to capture your heart will be the lucky one …. love yourself as you are adorable! xxx
    BTW I’m intrigued by ur mind, not your sexuality! xxx

  7. Hello Guyliner! I stumbled on your blog a couple of days ago, and I haven’t been able to stop reading your blog posts all weekend. Your writing is brilliant, fun, funny and witty. I could totally pull an all-nighter and keep reading, but I really need to wake up for work tomorrow.

  8. You’ve removed my previous comment but it’s still impossible to see the 3 comments on /fiye-and-shaun/
    Something’s not working.

    1. Hi. I haven’t removed any comments that I’m aware of. Not sure what’s wrong with the comments on that blog post – tbh I can’t be arsed fixing it hahaha.

  9. Just a quickie – I would be so grateful if you would review this week’s blind date. You are a distracting glimmer of lightness in my very busy week – and I would really like to see the full photo of the polka dot tights! I know I could buy a copy of the Guardian to see this (and maybe I should) but so much better on your website combined with funny gifs. Thank you.

    1. Hey, thanks for getting in touch and your kind words about the blog. I’m sorry but there’s no review this week. The tights are kind of cool, I’ll admit.

  10. Dear Guyliner,

    Things are a right shitshow at the moment but your blind date blog is consistently cheering. You totally nail it every time and I love reading what you write. Just ordered your new book. Thanks for your writing and please keep it coming.

  11. I’m hoping that you’re not ill as it’s been a couple of weeks since you posted. All the very best with whatever it is you’ve got going on.

  12. could you get more same sex couples for the guardian blind date column, ? they seem to be mainly straight dates, which i hate to say are a bit boring, while the same sex dates(of either gender) seem to have more fun and spice to them, so it would be great to see more of them

    1. I don’t work for the Guardian and so don’t fix up the dates, I’m afraid. It’s all out of my hands!

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