Dating 101

Dating 101

Ssssh! The turgid topics to avoid on your first date

So you’ve done the easy bit. You’ve arranged the date, spruced yourself up, shown up on time and, with a bit of luck, you’re in the right place. Now all you have to do is fill the next three or four hours or so. If you’re in a pub and drinking, the last two hours should fill themselves (don’t expect to remember any of it the next day), but for those all-important semi-sober first 90 minutes or so, you’re going to have to talk yourself charming. It’s easy, honestly. There...
Dating 101

Five ways to make sure you’re a fantastic first date

So you’ve done the hard bit, right? Whether you’ve picked someone up in a bar or your eyes have met over an internet cable on an online dating site, you have managed to successfully woo someone into going on a date with you. Now, all you have to do is lay on the charm, keep the drinks flowing and your eyes bright and the rest will fall into place, yes? Well, maybe. You could be that lucky person for whom everything goes right with the minimum of effort. The rest...
Dating 101

10 toxic things you really shouldn’t say on your dating profile

The dating arena is second only to its Roman gladiatorial cousin when it comes to viciousness. But rather than fleeing knife-wielding savages, daters find themselves fighting off the advances of unwelcome, pot-bellied irritants or, more commonly, trying their best to seem attractive to those who probably wouldn’t urinate on them if they were ablaze. Your dating profile, be it on a reputable dating site or a seedy phone app, is your storefront. It’s your singleton SOS to the slew of eligible bachelor rescue ships bobbing up and down in an...
Dating 101

How the internet makes liars of us all

Putting yourself ‘out there’ on an online dating site is a little like climbing into a shop window and begging people to peruse you. Most love-seeking sites have an engine which matches you and any potential suitors – I call them suitors as it's about as romantic or fairy-tale as this experience gets – based on the 1,001 questions you have answered on signing up. Don't like smokers, railway enthusiasts or people who read a lot? No problem! The website's magic matchmaking elves will ensure you never see them in...
Dating 101

Five reasons we can never be together

I never dreamed it would come to this. Even though we've never met, have never had that first flush of exciting romance and have even yet to share our very first kiss, I'm already thinking about the end. Yes, my non-existent boyfriend who never happened, I'm afraid that, for you, the light at the end of the tunnel isn't the open air – it's an oncoming train. It's not you, it's... well, it's everything you do. Even though you are a virtual man and have no corporeal form, I feel...
Dating 101

Dating 101: How to be a bad date

I do not advocate rudeness on dates. Even if the guy sitting opposite you is a crashing bore, with chronic halitosis and a set of teeth like an overloaded dish rack, I just like to sit it out. Why make someone else feel like shit just because you're having a bad time? But, if you are determined to make sure that this is a one-off date with no hope of repeats or returns, there are a few things you can do to try to make sure that your date is...
Dating 101

Dating 101: The big bang

Dating. A great way to meet people, sure. The chance to get out of the house and do different things with guys who you wouldn't normally have met, yes. But let's not forget another reason why we date – to get sex. Uh-huh. Oh yes, yes, avert your gaze and look coyly to the floor but let's cut the crap here. As nice as your date may be and as much fun as you may be having, if you don't fancy them it's pretty pointless. And when you fancy someone,...
Dating 101

Dating 101: One night only

Not sure whether they like you or not? Or whether you like them? Really? Do yourself a favour. Ten signs the first date will be the last: 1. They are otherwise perfect but there is one fatal flaw that you can't stop looking at, thinking about and trying not to mention, even though it is taking over your mind and threatening to launch itself from your tongue and across the table like a bile-covered missile. It could be anything: a crooked tooth, a liney forehead, a third eye. If you...
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