Dating 101

“I don’t do Christmas," he will say, his face pinched with misery. Quite a statement, and one loaded with meaning. To him, Santa is just an anagram of Satan and nothing more. You can deal with this, though, you tell yourself. You can make him adore the festive period – everybody says they hate it, but love it really. You can play him Winter Wonderland over and over. Maybe hang some jingling bells off your privates. And so your denial continues. But as the nights draw in and the Christmas lights start...

You can't move on social media or in an airport novel for mentions of "the boy", that mythical perfect boyfriend who gets their partner's eyes and tweets all a-flutter. "Meeting the boy for drinks later," they coo, as they skip down to whichever chichi future-dive their beau is sitting in, batting his sweet little eyes at the rest of the clientele. But who is The Boy? How do you get to be one? What does he do? Much like the "Cool Girl", "The Boy" is a fantasy of perfection. In...

Dating blogs are full of advice and this one is no exception. All the others talk nonsense though – about rules you should follow and how you have to do X so that you look more Y. Ignore them all. Disconnect the internet. You need only one piece of dating advice today. And it is this. You should never date a man who… 1. Tells you that you have the same number of hours in a day as Beyoncé. If he ever presents you with this mug, introduce it to his...