Dating 101

Considering its romantic intentions, a wedding can be one of the most stressful experiences of your life. If you’re a single person, they are a stark reminder of just how single you are. If you’re part of a couple, it’s either another tightening of the vice like pressure of arranging your own matrimony and if you are already spliced, you’re furious at how much nicer this wedding is than your own. But it’s worst of all if it’s your own wedding day. Why? Because your guests ruin everything, they’re the...

You don’t get many men falling over themselves to tell you about their childhood when you first start dating. People who had idyllic ones don’t usually feel the need to wheel them out to make conversation. Unless we had a very bad one, or grew up with celebrities or politicians for parents or something, there’s very little to say about one’s childhood beyond the usual bewilderment at how all the chocolate bars were bigger and everyone got smacked on the legs in the supermarket. The teenage rebel however, idolises his childhood self....

There are three things you should really avoid talking about on a first date. Food, politics and science fiction.  Star Wars, Star Trek, comic books, Doctor Who, Alien, the lot. Just avoid it if you can until you’re “going steady”, because if the sci-fi chat comes out too early on, the chances are you’ll have an intergalactic battle on your hands before you even get to the bedroom. So why is sci-fi a no-no? Put simply, it is extremely political, and sci-fi fans get very touchy when you don’t get their hobby....

“It’s exhausting to be right all the time,” the Know-it-all will tell you as he swirls his drink around his glass. “But I just can’t help myself. If I see an error, I have to correct it.” You may find this charming at first. Knowledge can be quite sexy, after all. "He's so clever," you'll gush to your slack-jawed friends. You revel in your new role as Marilyn Monroe to his Olivier, drinking in his fun facts, grammatical corrections and recommendations like lattes. But the trouble with a know-it-all is that...

This is it, then. It's official. It's getting hotter, you can smell barbecues and you're never three metres away from someone with a Magnum hanging out of their mouth. It's summer. While you nibble on picnic food, drown your sunburn in aloe vera and endure weeks of barbecue-related food poisoning, don't let these 25 losers make things worse for you. This summer, you should never date a man who… 1. Wants to "try that latest pop-up place" he's just read about. Summer is ruined by these ironic "burger n spiralized mango" joints...

Mother's Day. A day when, if like me you don't live in the same town as your mum, you drag yourself to the phone, hungover, to wish her well and hope the flowers and presents have arrived. Taking someone home to meet your mum is a big deal, no matter how young or old you are. There'll be men you'll meet who you'd instantly think would be perfect mother material, and others you know are only for tonight. And as for the ones you're not so sure about, you can...

Thanks to the internet and snark becoming an acceptable way of life, moaning about Valentine's Day and deriding everyone who gets involved in it is almost as big an institution as buying your beloved a bouquet on the day. And it's highly monetised, with cash changing hands for a billion think pieces on the death of romance. We mock those who simply must book a romantic meal for two on February 14th, because either their partner will give them the silent treatment from the 15th until the end of March, or,...

So you’ve been on a couple of dates and it’s going well, but is he boyfriend material? Stop right there and climb no further on the commitment ladder until you’ve got him through the following ten challenges: 1. Make him chew gum Mouth open? Drooling? Really inexplicably loud? Bubbles?! Ditch him. 2. Watch him go through a self-checkout machine More than three unexpected items in the bagging area and he has to go. 3. Take a train or Tube with him You will see how he reacts to standing etiquette/giving...

1. If I arrive first it will make me look responsible and also like I care and that I'm… not flighty. It will not make me seem overly keen and boring, with nothing else to do tonight, or indeed ever. 2. Arriving late will make me seem mysterious and sexy, and he’ll be panting at my arrival, staring eagerly at the door. He'll be so pleased I haven’t stood him up that he’ll be overjoyed to see me and we will fall immediately in love. 3. Oh well, it’s better than...