Impeccable Table Manners

Katie and Chris


Katie is a nurse and Chris sits on Twitter and Reddit all day (lol jk: he’s a social media editor). There’s a beard and a mustard top and they seem pretty nice, so let’s just see. Read what happened on the date before we go into detail.

Katie | Chris
First impressions?
His beard impressively connected to itself in the areas that are notoriously problematic.

I don’t understand this. What does she mean? That the beard wasn’t patchy? I think that’s what she means, but if it isn’t, do please send your answer on a postcard to “the usual address”.

There’s an early freakout by Chris about Katie being a vegan, but that aside, the good table manners questions were answered fairly drably: a “Yes” from Katie and a mention of no dribbling from Chris. By far more enlightening this week were the answers to these questions:

Describe him in three words.
Impressive wine consumption.
What do you think he made of you?
Psycho pseudo-vegan who sings love songs to her bike.
What do you think she made of you?
That I could hold my drink quite well.

“Impressive wine consumption” – oh dear. I have sat far too many times on a date and tanked back the pints out of nervousness, boredom, awkwardness or playing plain old catch-up.

As these two seem to like each other, I’m guessing it was nervousness on Chris’s part. The fact that he references what Katie might have thought of his drinking prowess suggests it actually came up on the date and nobody likes a) being told they’re a drunk or b) telling somebody they drink too much.

The “What do you think he/she made of you?” question is a good one because it pretty much condenses how the date went. Katie’s answer explains the image she likes to present of herself and the lasting impression she expects Chris to take away.

Chris’s answer, however, says “I got pissed”. No more, no less. 🙁

Anyway, it can’t have been that bad as they snogged and Katie says she’s “probably” see him again.

Milliners, get out your best fascinators – we’re on our way.

Photograph: Frantzesco Kangaris for the Guardian

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