archivestood up

1. “All his photos were taken from quite far away. I hope he’s not a horse-frightener.” 2. “I hope he was joking when he described himself as a flâneur. Because seriously.” 3. “Does my stomach look fat while I sit like this?” 4. “Should I stand up when he gets here so he can see I’m actually quite ripped?” 5. “Should I get a drink while I’m waiting, or hang on until he gets here?” 6. “What should I drink? What will make me look more desirable?” 7. “Maybe I...

Traffic. Broken alarm clocks. Dead grandmothers. All things which can be wheeled out as an excuse when you’re running late. I try to avoid lateness if at all possible, especially on dates. While I accept it can be unavoidable, lateness which comes as a result of disorganisation appears rude or selfish. If your beau isn’t doing his best to turn up at a date on time, imagine how self-centred and lacklustre he’ll be when taking up space on your king-size mattress. The most important thing to remember when you’re running...

Stats: 5'10″, 32, black/brown, Mexico When: Saturday 31 July, 1pm and 10.30pm Where: South-east London Pre-date rating: 7/10 The dates are becoming more and more disillusioning as time goes on, to be honest. This one is a little different from the others, though. I meet him on a different site, one where you know less information about your potential date, but you talk through instant messenger, rather than emails. (Edit: Grindr – why am I so afraid to say Grindr?!) We seem to get on well, at first missing each other and...