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Dating 101

25 terrible men you should never date

Dating blogs are full of advice and this one is no exception. All the others talk nonsense though – about rules you should follow and how you have to do X so that you look more Y. Ignore them all. Disconnect the internet. You need only one piece of dating advice today. And it is this. You should never date a man who… 1. Tells you that you have the same number of hours in a day as Beyoncé. If he ever presents you with this mug, introduce it to his...
Dating 101Single survival

31 things you will see people do on dating apps

Dating apps, whether they're for long-lasting love or a three-minute hook-up you can brag to your friends about, have revolutionised our love and sex lives. But even with tec so new and exciting, we're still a habit-forming animal – we can't resist becoming a cliché. So here are a few things you will almost certainly see on hook-up or dating apps. Swipe. Left. 1. A guy who does the same facial expression in every photo. It's usually a lop-sided grin or a grimace or that wide-open scream face that Caitlin...
Brief encounters

The Steal

In 2001 I was 25, living in Scotland and still ‘finding my way’. I was painfully inexperienced, restricted to directionless fumbling, falling in lust with the man who washed hair in my barber’s salon or avoiding hopeless one night stands. Saturday nights (and Sunday mornings) were usually spent at parties, having the same dazzling conversations with less than dazzling company. I had met bubbly Scouser Cally at one of these parties and we had struck up an incredibly superficial friendship that relied on darkness and close proximity to vodka. Despite...
Dating 101

15 men you should never take home to meet your mother

Mother's Day. A day when, if like me you don't live in the same town as your mum, you drag yourself to the phone, hungover, to wish her well and hope the flowers and presents have arrived. Taking someone home to meet your mum is a big deal, no matter how young or old you are. There'll be men you'll meet who you'd instantly think would be perfect mother material, and others you know are only for tonight. And as for the ones you're not so sure about, you can...
Single survival

17 things couples do that make single people want to kill them

Aside from the mindless shagging, off-the-peg hedonism and thrilling Uber rides to the clap clinic, being single can be something of a trial. Sure, you can do what the hell you like, when you like, but sometimes you long for the touch of another, for someone to care that you've left the fridge open, the thrill of orgasming with someone else in the room. And as if all that wasn't enough, you’ve got dickhead couples pulling this kind of crap all around you, reminding you how unloved, lonely and insignificant you are: 1. Share puddings. “Two spoons, please” is a knife in...
Dating 101

10 tests every potential boyfriend must pass before you commit

So you’ve been on a couple of dates and it’s going well, but is he boyfriend material? Stop right there and climb no further on the commitment ladder until you’ve got him through the following ten challenges: 1. Make him chew gum Mouth open? Drooling? Really inexplicably loud? Bubbles?! Ditch him. 2. Watch him go through a self-checkout machine More than three unexpected items in the bagging area and he has to go. 3. Take a train or Tube with him You will see how he reacts to standing etiquette/giving...
Dating 101Single survival

The 25 stages of Twitter courtship

Twitter isn’t just for cat GIFs, cod politics, think-pieces and bitching about reality TV, it’s also a place to find love! Spotting someone getting it on over Twitter is easy to do once you know how. Here are 25 signs those two faves you follow might be about to move on to being more than serial retweeters. 1. Regular liking of tweets – especially really boring attention-seeking ones. 2. Increased retweets. 3. Starting an @ conversation in response to nothing, not even a blogpost or a thirst-trap selfie. 4. Meeting...
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