Impeccable Table Manners

Marc and Sarah


Read what happened on the date

These two look like pretty good eggs, don’t they? Sarah seems one of those people who would agree to water your plants while you were on holiday and actually do it, and Marc would probably offer his seat on the Tube to a pregnant lady (although it would turn out to be merely an overweight person and he’d get all embarrassed).

Right, to the nitty-gritty:


I’m into these two. Anybody who tries to get a free bottle of wine out of an arsey waiter (and they went to Kettners in Soho, so I know exactly what these waiters will be like) is fine by me.

Oysters are, of course, an aphrodisiac. This has always confused me, as they taste a bit like manflu and look most unfortunate, plus it is impossible to look sexy as you shovel them down your throat hoping desperately that you won’t have to taste them. What’s the point?

Blind date Marc and Sarah

Two solid answers to the table manners question, with not an impeccable in sight. All the signs are good. As you read on, you start to think we could be in hat-buying territory – with Marc even scoring Sarah a 10 – until the very end, when Sarah drops an “As friends, yeah” to the question about meeting up again. This being the Guardian Blind Date column, which is not remotely inquisitive, they don’t ask why, instead leaving Sarah’s answer hanging there, like a bogey on a bride in a wedding photo.

Reading between the lines: Marc spat out his second oyster or made a joke about sex while he was choking on a third. Sarah quickly started to sober up and the waitress ruthlessly withheld the wine she so desperately needed. And that’s what clinched it.

Photograph: James Drew Turner; Frantzesco Kangari for the Guardian

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