When you have trawled as many dating profiles as I have, it’s easy to become jaded and embittered. After a while, you wonder whether you are reading too much into what they say – every comma splice and superfluous adjective leapt upon and seen as a valid reason to chuck a guy on the reject pile. So I must offer a fresh pair of eyes, a new perspective – I’m presenting a guest post. And by a girl! I know, right? And I'm not even drunk. Meet Laura McGreary, of...
Being gay is very political these days. What with the world and his wife sticking their noses in about whether we should be getting married and Twitter confusing homosexuality with paedophilia in the wake of the BBC sex scandals from the 1970s. Like the unavoidable pink square in a slice of Battenberg or the writing running through a stick of rock, there’s always a constant air of homophobia which lingers around the reporting of such stories, but it’s not just the heavyweight news events we have to watch out for,...
Traffic. Broken alarm clocks. Dead grandmothers. All things which can be wheeled out as an excuse when you’re running late. I try to avoid lateness if at all possible, especially on dates. While I accept it can be unavoidable, lateness which comes as a result of disorganisation appears rude or selfish. If your beau isn’t doing his best to turn up at a date on time, imagine how self-centred and lacklustre he’ll be when taking up space on your king-size mattress. The most important thing to remember when you’re running...
Public transport is a necessary evil for most of us: a means of getting from A to B with (we hope) the minimum fuss and the maximum efficiency. But for a pastime which can take up to a good two hours a day for many of us, hauling your cookies into work is criminally overlooked in the romance stakes. Whether your eyes meet in sympathy over the sound of a fellow passenger hacking up a loogie on the bus or a jolt in the train’s braking system sends you careering...
You’re on a date. The guy opposite of you seems attentive, interested, and personable. But there’s something not quite right. Maybe he’s commenting a little too much on the décor of your date venue. Perhaps he’s got a lot to say about the menu or is critiquing the clothes of passers-by. And when he asks you again where you’re from, your age and appears to make a mental note of your eye colour, you need to beware. There’s every chance you could be sitting across from the scourge of the...
What’s that coming toward you in the sweaty haze of the bar? It’s drunk, it’s loud and it looks vaguely familiar. No, it’s not your mother at a wedding, it’s a soap actor on the prowl, looking for love or at least the closest they can get to it without ending up in the papers. But you must resist. No good can ever come from becoming romantically involved with someone who treads the cobbles of Coronation Street or rolls in the hay of Emmerdale. Seriously, back away from the Albert...
Lonely? Not really lying when you tell friends you’re washing your hair tonight? Got nothing on your bedside table but a well-thumbed copy of the TV guide with all your favourite programmes circled? I hear you. Isn’t it time you met somebody? As we all know, single people are doomed to a life of ready meals for one, exorbitant surcharges on hotel rooms in Benidorm and the inability to argue in supermarkets, so, in the first of an occasional series, here’s how and where to meet men. As simple as...
Even the most noble of queens can expect her loyal subjects to turn against her eventually. Be it a jubilee celebration too far or an over-zealous beheading, every serf has their tipping point. While not a glorious ruler of any realm in particular, Madonna has had queenly status bestowed upon her for the majority of her career by a legion of gay followers. Having some kind of interest in what, or who, Madonna is doing seems to be a side-effect of being gay. But now Her Madgesty has displeased her...
It’s an uncontrollable urge, a reflex action. No matter how hard you try, you can’t help yourself. Like a tantalising ‘Do Not Touch’ sign at an exhibition or a ‘Keep Off The Grass’ warning on a beautiful lawn, if you see a link to a picture on Twitter, you’ve just got to click it. What will it be? Another cooked breakfast? Perhaps a cordon bleu luncheon in a fancy restaurant? Maybe a heavily filtered Instagram rendition of a darling chimney pot at a vintage fair? Check the calendar before you...
