Jane and Crudgie

What happened on the date

I’d love to know on what order the questions are asked. I like to think the table manners query comes toward the end of the interview, once all the bile has been expelled. It’s the only reason I can find for such incredible politeness over a date which, when you read the whole thing, sounds as much fun as having your balls waxed.

Photograph: James Turner; Frantzesco Kangaris, both for the Guardian