Aaron and Tara

We’re down to the last couple of cigarettes in the noxious 85% tar pack of 2025. What shall we light them with? A Brat-green Clipper from last year that we just found behind the sofa? A £50 note (billionaires only)? Or maybe we should pop one in our mouth and wait for the flames slowly licking away at the planet to reach us and finish the lot off?

But it’s not all bad, is it? The Christmas lights are twinkling, M&S have restocked the festive pyjamas, and the Blind Date is still showing us that love – or at least the idea of it – is still around us.

Today’s Christmas crackers are Aaron, 28, a digital producer, and Tara, 30, who works in marketing. They both send emails for a living, basically. Don’t we all? Read the full account of the date on the Guardian website, and then return here for the picking apart.

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Right, back to it:

Aaron | Tara

What were you hoping for?
Someone to split a mortgage with. If not that, a nice night with someone new.

A mortgage?! Good luck. Unless your family are seven generations deep into extreme wealth, or you’re willing to blow a billionaire, you’ll need to get a full-time job while in utero to save enough for a deposit on a bread bin in London.

What were you hoping for?
Some laughs and a fancy dinner – got both.

A fancy dinner! I love it when they act as if their nicest meal in their life thus far is two cream crackers dipped in dripping. Tara works in marketing; fifty per cent of her job will be lunching in a restaurant that was fashionable while Cilla was still alive.

First impressions?
Great smile and really well dressed. Tara and I arrived at exactly the same time, which took some of that nervous anticipation away. I felt comfortable with her quickly.

Arriving at the same time is my nightmare – I either want to glide toward someone who’s already seated, or be serenely arranged on a banquette as they totter toward me. I don’t want to have that awkward conversation about who’s sitting where, or both get stuck walking through the door, like they always do in slapstick comedies.

First impressions?
Tall, nice clothes. He apologised for having asked to reschedule the date because of his cold.

A rescheduling, a synchronised arrival – this is either doomed from the off, or we’re in the first draft of a winter-themed Emily Henry.

What did you talk about?
Work. Family. The joys of being from the capital of the world (south London). The chat flowed throughout.

What did you talk about?
Aaron’s cool job. My sister’s obsession with Taskmaster. How tall Greg Davies is. The fancy loo at the restaurant.

Work/job ✅ – digital producer. Hmmm, I’ve been there. Ah, standing up in a team round a flip chart three times a day while project managers talk about ‘iterations’, and ridiculously salaried department heads who don’t know how to turn on an iPad panic whenever you walk into a room in case you’re going to ask for a budget increase.

South London – to my surprise, I have spent the bulk of my 20+years in London in south London, and I like it a lot. And yet, on the rare occasions I am in north London proper, it feels more…London-y. I don’t know why. And I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or not, either.

Taskmaster and Greg Davies. Never watched it but I did used to live near him and would see him in the park. Do you think they were talking about his height because Aaron is tall? Tall people love talking about how tall they are with fascination and wonder as if they have an extra head. Oh, actually, I’m getting word that… actually, no they don’t.

The fancy loo – fancy again! Was Tara perhaps chipped out of a block of prehistoric ice a couple of days before the date?

Most awkward moment?
There was a bit of indecisiveness about whether to call it a night or have another drink.

If it’s not an instant yes, we have to do this, we have to down one more, and maybe go somewhere else, this can’t be the end, it can’t, it can’t, I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of the night unless your face is in front of mine… then just go home. No point trying to talk yourself into a good time.

Most awkward moment?
The waiters taking our picture under the Christmas tree with a surprise flash.

A flash?! In this economy? When Touche Eclat is now so expensive ? Give me the phone. I’m going to get them fired.

Good table manners?
Great. She navigated the sharing plates more elegantly than I did.

I wouldn’t know – he made me look away when he tackled the tacos.

We shall gloss over the sharing, because who has the time, but I’m with Aaron on taco shame. I can only eat them in windowless rooms with a stack of wet wipes nearby and my phone switched off in case I accidentally broadcast an Insta Live to a giant screen on Leicester Square while I’ve got a mouthful of pork pibil.

Best thing about them?
Tara’s lived a super-interesting life and I liked her adventurous spirit.

He designs activities for kids at after-school clubs, which is pretty cool.

Good eggs both! I’m glad the Guardian hasn’t wheeled out anyone evil just before Christmas.

Would you introduce Tara to your friends?
I’m not sure how well our worlds would mesh.

Our worlds!!!

But okay. Maybe there’s something unsaid happening here. Maybe her descriptions of her friends made them sound like side characters from The Secret History.

Describe Tara in three words
Bubbly. Smiley. Warm.

BUBBLY, like prosecco at the third party you’re attending this week.
SMILEY, like you will hopefully be before the prosecco has run out.
WARM, like the prosecco at the next party you’re stuck at, talking to someone who calls himself ‘The Photocopier Whisperer’

Describe Aaron in three words
Creative, warm, curious.

CREATIVE, like the lies you tell to get out of party number five – “Yes I’m afraid I’ve just discovered I drowned on the Titanic, terrible business, see you in the New Year!”
WARM, like God does nobody ever put party drinks in the fridge anymore? Are we really all too mature and sophisticated now to fill the bath with ice and chuck all the bottles of Baileys in it?
CURIOUS, like one party guest’s decision to bring no booze but a panettone the size of Acton.

What do you think Tara made of you?
I would imagine she thought I was underdressed (I was). I would also guess that I’m not her type, but I think she enjoyed my company.

Perhaps these are the worlds Aaron talks about. How underdressed was he? Cummerbund not matching his bow tie? Was he in a Grinch slanket? What was Tara wearing?! She’s in jeans and a nice top in the photo – did she crack out a prom dress for a date at a Mexican restaurant?

What do you think Aaron made of you?
Probably chatty, hopefully not too obsessed with Greg Davies.

I think maybe the tallness chat has speared any chances of this going anywhere.

And … did you kiss?
No, just a hug.

Kiss? It’s flu season! But I did get a text to check I’d got home safely.

Take it from one of past winters’ biggest sluts – if you’re feeling it, really really feeling it, then nothing short of TYPHOID would keep your tongue in your own mouth, never mind ‘flu season’.

If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?
Probably the day of the week. It’s hard to make the most of free margaritas on a Monday.

Monday was not the issue here, I feel.

Marks out of 10?
Tara is a 10/10 person. I think the date itself was closer to a 6. There just wasn’t a romantic spark, sadly.

Plenty of tall chat yet the scores fall short. Six is ZERO, we all know that as regular purveyors of this column. A zero of kindness. A festive nought. Nul points, but make it Hallmark movie. Christmas pity.

8, I had a great time.

Oh Tara. Tara Tara Tara. This could’ve been the beginning of a beautiful friendship but… the final question is peering into your Ring doorbell and is determined to ruin everything.

Would you meet again?
I’d say “Hi” if our paths crossed again.

I’d love to go to one of Aaron’s gigs.

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Something to remember about the review and the daters that I put at the end of every post

The comments I make are based on answers given by participants. The Guardian chooses what to publish and usually edits answers to make the column work better on the page. Most things I say are riffing on the answers given and not judgements about the daters themselves, so please be kind to them in comments, replies, and generally on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get along for our benefit, or explain why they do, or don’t, want to see each other again, so please try not to speculate or fill our feeds with hate. If you’re one of the daters, get in touch if you want to give me your side of the story. And, pleas, I need an outfit check!

Aaron and Tara ate at Los Mochis, London EC2. Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com

Merry Christmas and thank you for all your support over the last trillion years.

INTRODUCING… THE MYERS MATCH

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