All the men I ever dated

The very final chart – or league table, you might say – based on the rating I gave them, with number 1 being the best date, obviously. The number in brackets is ‘points’ scored, and it is out of 10. In the event of a tie, the one who fucked me off the least gets precedence. Or I might work out some complicated points system if I’m sad enough to still be doing this in five years’ time. Jesus. Imagine. That’d be all kinds of awful. Well, it took me six to get to the end, but I never did tackle that scoring system.

There are a lot of dates I went on and didn’t blog about, so they’re missing. Why did I skip them? Either they were too dull, too rude, or would be too obvious and give my identity away. I tended to be much less bothered about this when the blog started, as you can see.

Too many to mention, but a big shout out to the producer who asked me on a second date but decided to take someone else on it instead (dreary in bed), the guy who very clearly had read the blog and knew who I was but didn’t dare reveal it (not a great kisser, I have to say) and the two or three who actually follow me on Twitter but never realised who I am, or if they have, kept it buttoned. I couldn’t have done it without you. Aren’t we all glad that is over?

1. The Last First Date (11)
= The Male Nanny/The Guyliner (10)
= The Hogmanay Kiss (10)
= The Mexican (10)
5. The Great Potential (9.5)
6. The Thriller (9.25)
7. The Youngling (9)
= The Colombian in the Bath (9)
= The Wow Moment (9)
= The Vision of Beauty (9)
11. The Late Great (8.75)
12. The Dish from Damascus (8.5)
= The Beauty and the Beef (8.5)
= The Boyfriend (8.5)
15. The Christmas Fling (8)
= The Stranger on the Train (8)
= The Anti Type (8)
= The Better Offer (8, kinda)
= The Lawyer (8)
20. The Graduate (7.5)
=  The Politico (7.5)
22.  The Drama Teacher (7)
=   The Newbie (7)
= The Idolator (7)
=  The Banker (7)
=  The Tortured Soul  (7)
27. The Backpacker (6.5)
= The Associate (6.5)
29. The Lollipop (6)
= The Dark Mirror (6)
= The Northerner (6)
=  The Keen Bean (6)
= The Composer (6)
= The Quizmaster (6)
35. The Saint (5)
36. The Muse (5.5)
= The Sculptor (5.5)
38. The Bittersweet Goodbye (5)
= The Producer (5)
= The Straight-talker (5)
=  The Flat Cap (5)
42. The Hot Mess (4.5)
= The Right Peter (4.5)
= The Latecomer (4.5)
= The Boy on the Beach (4.5)
46. The Ex at Stage Left (4)
= The Iceman Skateth (4)
= The Wrong Peter (4)
= The Cherry Popper (4)
=  The Mogul (4)
= The Aspidistra (4)
= The Time Thief (4)
= The Social Mountaineer (4)
54.  The Plus One (3.5)
= The Reluctant Mean Girl (3.5)
= The Selfie (3.5)
= The Pedal Pusher (3.5)
58. The Also-Ran (3)
= The Hold-Out
= The Drunken Hack (3)
61. The Mashed Potato (2)
=  The Drunk (2)
63. The Raincheck (1)
64. The Edamame Embarrassment (0)
65. The Show-off (1)
= The Culture Vulture (1)
67.  The Brat (0.5)
68. The Drunk Mexican (-5)
69. The Luvvie (-6)
70. The Marrying Kind (-7)
71. The Invisible Man (-10)
72. The Parent Trap (no score)

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