archivetexting

Bad datesFollow-ups

The breakup: Mark and the herpes simplex complex

Oh, Mark. Mark and I had started off so well, with a humorously disastrous date in a museum followed by one too many drinks in a boozer laughing over how bad it had been. That first night ended with a drunken kiss, and half-hearted torso fumbling before we parted at a bus stop, sparks of sexual energy fizzing out of every pore as I watched his bus pull away. As time passed by, I could just about cope with him insisting on trying to put all his fingers in my mouth...
Single survival

X offender – the minefield of kisses on text messages

There are so many social minefields these days, and endless faux pas just waiting to happen, it's surprising we ever bother going out at all, or communicating with anyone. If it weren’t for thick skins and an ability to recover from public mortification, we’d be better off living all alone, rocking back and forth in our world where nothing ever really happens, but we are all safe. Few things are as mind-numbingly political, stupid and awkward than the simple ‘x’. Not the one that marks the spot on a treasure...