Freya and Greg

Ah, February. Valentines. Pancakes. Rain tipping down on a permanent basis. What’s not to love? February is the kind of month you want to strangle just to get it out of the way – no wonder it’s so short, it knows it’s on borrowed time. So, as I look forward to paying my rent a few days earlier than I would have liked, let’s see who the Guardian Blind Date is serving up for us this week.

In the long blond hair corner we have Freya, who is 23 and a master’s student, and in the short blond hair corner, there is Greg, 24, who works as a civil servant.

I don’t know why but there’s always something about two blonds getting together that makes me slightly anxious. You wouldn’t be able to have a dark sofa, would you? All those flaxen strands lying everywhere. You would never have a lint roller out of your hand. And unblocking a blonds-only house’s bathroom plughole must be an unsettling experience.

Anyway, here they both are, in their cardigans, looking for love. Ah, the full flush of youth, where you can dress like an old person and it’s cute and charming, because you have easy-iron skin and your teeth aren’t held together with as much dental acrobatics as an NHS dentist will allow.

Read what happened on the date on the Guardian website, and then return here for the spoils!

My review in full:

Sorry, I’ve got nothing. Adorable pair, and I wish them well, but we just don’t have time for this.

No, seriously that’s it, here’s the footer

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Something to remember about the review and the daters that I put at the end of every post

The comments I make are based on answers given by participants. The Guardian chooses what to publish and usually edits answers to make the column work better on the page. Most things I say are riffing on the answers given and not judgements about the daters themselves, so please be kind to them in comments, replies, and generally on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get along for our benefit, or explain why they do, or don’t, want to see each other again, so please try not to speculate or fill our feeds with hate. If you’re one of the daters, get in touch if you want to give me your side of the story. You seem really lovely! It is just a joke! You both have wonderful hair! You are young! You really don’t need my approval. x