Opinion

I've always loved awards shows, both watching them on TV and, on very few occasions, attending them. I have stayed up many times for the Oscars, revelling in their glamorous, opulent tediousness, waiting for one celebrity’s face to crack and their boredom to show. They never do, do they? They’re too frightened of what they’ll lose if they reveal even the smallest ingratitude at having all this luxury and privilege at their fingertips. But that’s showbiz for you. I love the stilted delivery of dialogue as the autocue grinds, and the...

Every time I’m within 10 feet of a noodle, it’s the same. That creeping anxiety in anticipation of the inevitable; the resentful side-eye to the two slender wooden oppressors at my hand. Try us, they say, maybe this time you’ll finally get it right. My blood runs cold and my face flushes. “Um, could I have a fork, please?” If this were a saloon bar in the wild west, the piano player would stop abruptly and everyone would turn to face me. As it is, it’s a ramen restaurant in...