30 things that always happen during Wimbledon

Wimbledon fortnight starts Monday, one of the Top 10 shrillest sporting events on the face of the Earth. Despite the fact it is a magnet for braying upper middle-class Aga enthusiasts and certified poshoes who think even the Queen is too common for the Royal enclosure, I love Wimbledon. It’s really easy to watch – just the right ratio of dullness to nail biting tension. Plus tennis players are much more bangable than football players. My 'love affair' with Wimbledon properly began as I waited to start my second year...