What happened on the date An exciting deviation from the norm in an attempt to add content to the worst question of the entire column. Effort appreciated, but the use of “textbook” makes me feel a bit ill. And sharing food is a prelude to sex and they didn’t actually do that – so no. Unless your hands are planning to wander far and wide, keep them off your date’s plate. Especially with cheese, the least sexy food since polenta. Photograph: James Drew Turner for the Guardian...

Did you come out on National Coming Out Day? And how was it for you? What people never seem to tell you about coming out is that it’s not restricted to one day – it’s a never-ending event. See those closet doors? They’re revolving. Day after day, you will find yourself – directly and indirectly – coming out to a host of people, even total strangers. The coming out never stops. Think you have everybody covered? Relatives, friends, key people at work – check. However, you're not out of the woods...

What happened on the date A rare consecutive same-sex date sees the participants attempt diplomacy in what was clearly a glorified worm-eating contest. Take a tip from these guys: when eating ramen and it goes horribly wrong – as this evidently did – just agree on what you’re going to say before it goes in a national newspaper. Photograph: James Drew Turner for the Guardian...

The dating arena is an unforgiving place. There’s no time to waste on that search for lasting love. As ever, I only want to help, so if you want to separate the men from the boys and the woulds from the would-nots, here I have 25 more men you should, if at all possible, avoid when dating. Everything I do, I do it for you. You should never date a man who… 1. Has a 'hilarious' answer-phone message. Wacky outgoing voicemail messages are up there with novelty underpants, Homer Simpson...

What happened on the date Ooh, a gay date. Yay. They usually have a little bit of vinegar amid the usual plaudits. Kaush (top answer) actually tries to fling some subtle shade Mark’s way (“Neither seemed to mind” = “I noticed. I minded.”) but Mark rescues the date by answering with the only true answer. Impeccable. Photograph: Frantzesco Kangaris; Linda Nylind, both for the Guardian...

What happened on the date Josh | Alexandra Good table manners? She didn't use her napkin. Good table manners? Generally very good. You wouldn’t think somebody with as much hair going on as Josh would be so particular, would you? But Alexandra’s napkin faux-pas was unforgivable. Alexandra got her own back, however, by arranging to meet Josh again but, I assume, not turning up. Photograph: James Drew Turner for the Guardian ...

What happened on the date Ciara | Andrew Good table manners? Yes. We both apologised for saying bad words the odd time. Good table manners? Perfect. She let me try me her dessert. "Bad words." These are grown-ups. They don’t look the types to throw out loads of C-words over the starters, so I’m guessing "pilly, woo, bum" was as bad as it got. If you can’t curse or drop a few F-bombs on a first date, how are you going to lead up to farting in bed when you’re...

What happened on the date Sam | Rebecca Any awkward moments? She showed me a picture of her sick at one point, but assured me her grandparents had already seen it. Good table manners? Impeccable. Good table manners? Very. I tried to make him eat a decorative pebble for £20, but he refused. I include Sam’s answer to the awkward moments question here because it shows the “impeccable” stock reply up for what it really is. props to Rebecca for very likely early on seeing this date was going to...

The year is 2001. I am in a bar, talking to a gay man. I used to do that. He might be trying to pick me up; I can't tell. He takes another sip of his almost-drained drink and looks me up and down carefully. Here we go. "How old are you?" he asks, with a mouthful of beery spittle. "I'm 25," I reply. He surveys me again as if looking at a child's finger painting. Finally, he speaks. "If you want a body, you're going to have to get...